If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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