He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
