i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
