she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
