WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
