..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
