Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
