My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
