Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
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