Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
