I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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