she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
