They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Terrible idea I love it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize