8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
