White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
