That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
These tits shall not be calmed
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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