oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
