What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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