i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
