that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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