you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
