he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
