how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize