they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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