How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
