And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
