I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
