I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize