Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
