p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
