I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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