I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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