He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The struggles of a small town man whore
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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