I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
