At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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