You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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