Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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