You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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