i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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