Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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