i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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