I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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