Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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