You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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