he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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