Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
