I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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