Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
