i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
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