That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Are my feet made of real feet?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
