She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
