I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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