Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
