I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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