Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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