I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
