I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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