Who did Billy Mays play for?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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