i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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