Just fell off a train. Bad.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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