Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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