i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
And then he peed in my hair
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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