too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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