Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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