Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize