No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
