Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Your dad touched me again.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
