So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize