So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
