He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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