I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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